


The Snark Is Strong With This One

by Geekhyena



Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Making Out, Mocking films you like, snarking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:37:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geekhyena/pseuds/Geekhyena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dairine shows Roshaun Star Wars. Plot hole-related snarking ensues.  A birthday present for Peridexis on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Snark Is Strong With This One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Peridexis](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Peridexis).



\-------------

“So this is the last film, correct?” Roshaun elegantly arranged himself on the Callahans' couch, his Green Lantern t-shirt contrasting with the vivid orange undertunic and pants he was wearing in a way that briefly made Dairine's eyes water.

“Well, it's the most recent. Chronologically, Return of the Jedi is the last film.” Popcorn? Check. DVD and stereo remotes? Check. Infuriating alien king to cuddle? Extra check. She flopped onto the couch in front of him, angling herself so that she could lean back against him while allowing both of them to see the screen. 

“Yes, but we've seen that one. There are no more films to see after this, correct?” Roshaun rearranged his clothing from where Dairine had practically bounced onto the sofa. 

Dairine saw this and sniggered. On one hand, she supposed it was sweet that he liked that shirt so much, given that she had gotten it for him, but on the other hand, his insistence about avoiding wrinkles in his clothing was rather hilarious, and rather like a cat repeatedly grooming itself to make sure no hair was out of place. “There's the Clone Wars TV series, which is really good. I just need to show you this first.”

He nodded, casually draping an arm around her to grab a handful of popcorn while she started the movie. “I look forward to seeing how Anakin becomes Darth Vader. This should be interesting.” 

\----A Few Scenes In ------  
“If he is so worried about Padme dying in childbirth, why not take her to a doctor? She is a senator, presumably she has access to decent health care. Surely a competent physician would be able to monitor her...”

Dairine poked him with the remote. “Ssssh. It's complicated, okay? She'd have to explain who the father was and not everything is preventable...”

“She could bribe a doctor into staying quiet..” He winced as her elbow found his ribs. “All right! I will desist.”

\-----A Bit Later----

“Wait, if he had just reported Palpatine's treachery to Windu, why is he now defending Palpatine? This makes no sense...is he that fickle?”

“There's a cut scene that explains it. I'll show you later.”

“Why cut it at all, if its absence produces such a puzzling outcome?”

“....That's actually a good question.” She sighed. “This is going to be like watching Lord of the Rings all over again, isn't it?”

“If the information necessary to understand the film or fully have it make sense is left out of the film, it indicates poor decisions on the parts of the creators. They could at least have footnotes or something. Like those subtitles on that movie Carmela showed us.”

Resisting the urge to fling a pillow at him, Dairine rewound the scene to where Roshaun had started interrupting and hit play again.

\--------Even Later -----

“You've told me about this Expanded Universe – how some Jedi actually survived, correct? Yoda and Obi-Wan at least should have been high priority to ensure that they were actually dead. They didn't do a very thorough job, did they?”

“Palpatine had Alzheimer's or something. I don't know. Look, yes, there are plot holes but if you keep poking at every single one of them, you won't enjoy the film!”

“On the contrary, I am enjoying it immensely.”

“Of course you are,” Dairine grumbled. 

\------ Near the end of the film ----------

“SHE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE?” This time, Roshaun was actually shouting at the screen. “She LOST the WILL to LIVE? What an idiotic, braindead, idea! Did they run out of time to write the script and just decided to stick in such an imbecilic excuse because it was due the next morning? What ever happened to maybe living for your children, who now have to be protected from their father, or more specifically what Palpatine would do to them as leverage on Anakin....” He threw up his hands in a gesture of exasperation, sending the remote crashing to the floor as he bumped the arm of the couch in the process. “Did Lucas just give up on the series? Did his ego inflate so much that he decided he did not need an editor to check his script for plausibility?” 

Dairine considered several options as to how to break him out of his rant and finally settled on a more direct method. Turning around to face him, she grabbed his shirt with both hands, yanking his face down to meet hers in a searing, exasperation-fueled kiss. After a brief moment of astonishment, he began to kiss back, letting her push him backwards so that she could straddle him, pinning him down and only briefly breaking for air before continuing her fierce exploration of his mouth. 

The movie rolled on, through the much-mocked “NOOOO!” of Darth Vader, the fostering of Luke and Leia, and eventually, the end credits, but neither party was in a position to notice, nor did they notice Spot clamber atop the coffee table and begin to watch Mythbusters (until a sudden explosion startled them both, causing them to fall off the couch and continue their explorations in Dairine's room, but that's a story for another time.)


End file.
